The Quiet Screams But I Refuse To Listen
by JadeAngel
Summary: Balled of Fallen Angels. Spike Spiegal. Vicious. Memories that haunt the present.


Title: The Quiet Screams, But I Refuse to Listen

Author: LadySephiroth (aka Jade on the SO boards)

Series: Cowboy Bebop 

Episode: #5 Ballad of Fallen Angels

Characters: Spike Spiegel, Vicious, Faye Valentine, and random minions

Notes: The dialogue is taken from the English SUB, so it's a tad different from what's on Cartoon Network. Minor language warning, minor violence warning. Song lyrics at the beginning and end are Rain, the song which plays through this scene. This was written for a contest on Shinra Online…and at the time of this publication, I don't know how I placed, but merf. And yes, it is just a novelization, but merf. (:

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I don't feel a thing...and I stopped remembering...The days are just like moments turned to hours...Mother used to say, If you want you'll find a way...but mother never danced through fire showers...

Silently Spike stepped toward the abandoned cathedral. His face was a quiet look of calmness, but inside his head, behind the cool facade, his mind was racing. It had been so long, so long since he 'died' and had last seen Vicious. So long since he left the Red Dragon syndicate and became a bounty hunter, or more commonly referred to as, a cowboy. All because of her.

Her. Julia. The woman for whom Spike would give his life, the woman who had then rejected him, only to keep both of the same. _Safe? _he asked himself, a tiny hint of a frown creeping across his pale face. _She slept with me. Slept with Vicious. A nightmare...she chose him. Over me. To save her life and mine. Was it worth it?_

Those thoughts in his head and his hands in his pockets, the green haired man walked up the stairs, suppressing a shiver. It was cold, but it felt warmer than he knew it would feel inside of the forgotten church. His past was in there, the past that he had been unconsciously running from for the last several years. Inside the church was Vicious, the man he had once called friend, until power corrupted the man to the point of threatening Julia at gunpoint in jealousy. Because of that man, Spike had 'died'- all to be "safe."

Looming ahead of him were the doors, an elegant cherry wood. Idly he wondered how they had stayed in such beautiful shape, especially when compared to the rest of the worn-down church. Graffiti had marred the building, and even Spike, though not a religious man, was somewhat appalled that anyone could treat a sacred place with such disrespect. Of course, he hid it all behind an apathetic mask. The Spike Spiegel that everyone knew wouldn't think such things, he would probably crack a dry joke, but there was much more behind the man than just a calm demeanor. Inside there burned a passion that few could even guess blazed within.

Meanwhile, inside of the broken down cathedral, Vicious was waiting in the darkness, blue eyes closed. He sat silently on an old pew, katana in one hand; the other draped down at his side. Of course, his bird was there on his shoulder, as the creature never left his side. Some called it creepy, especially when Vicious fed it out of his own hand, but it had a purpose, though none but white haired man knew exactly what. The time for that would come later. For now, he had other things to do- like kill Spike Spiegel. _I knew his honor would bring him here_, he mused, taking a deep breath as he heard the doors open. I_ knew he'd want to save the girl. Always had a soft spot for women...especially my women_. His last thoughts were thought with a harsh overtone. While Faye Valentine wasn't exactly 'his woman', she was currently under his control, and Spike was coming for her.

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Or maybe just coming for me? he asked himself, eyes snapping open at the sound of footsteps. Katana still in his hands, Vicious stood up, his footsteps silent against the cold grey stone floor as he made his way toward Spike. As his eyes focused on the green haired man who was carefully eyeing the layout of the place, Vicious smiled. 

"Angels that are forced from Heaven have to become demons, isn't that right, Spike?" he asked, voice dangerously slow and calm. _That's right. Demons. Like me. Like you. You were once one of the best, Spike, and now you're nothing. A pity..._

Spike merely grinned. "I'm only watching a dream that I never awakened from." His voice too was calm, with an almost soothing quality. His eyes held an almost bemused look and there was a hint of a smile on his face.

That response was not exactly what Vicious was expecting. His lips curled in a sneer and his fingers tightened around the hilt of his katana. "I'll wake you up right now."

"Don't be so anxious, Vicious," Spike retorted. "It's our first meeting in a while, right?" Years. Ever since you took Julia away from me. When your jealousy blinded you to the fact that she loved me more than you.

"A plea for your life?" came Vicious' response, void of all emotion.

Spike shrugged and glanced up at the ceiling for a moment before looking back to Vicious. "Hardly." His voice became considerably darker and his eyes narrowed, no longer with the goofy look of amusement. "Something like that doesn't work on you, remember? After all, you even kill those who've saved your life." This was in reference to the cold-blooded murder of Mao mere days ago. The murder that had brought him here, back to fight the Red Dragon syndicate. 

Vicious' own eyes narrowed as he took a step forward, fingers twitching on the handle of his katana. "He was a beast who lost his fangs." Vicious had no respect for those who stopped fighting. Violence was the only way to rule, and the only thing that he knew. "That's why he's dead. The same goes for you."

Before Spike could respond, a gasp came from the other end of the sanctuary and Spike immediately drew his gun and aimed at the sound. _Faye. Figures _he thought as he adjusted his aim slightly.

Faye Valentine looked scared. That surprised Spike somewhat, but then again, he rarely saw her with her hands held behind her back and a gun at her right temple. The sultry gambler had every right to be frightened. The man with the gun to her head had a no-nonsense look on his face as he spoke. "Now, we want you to drop your gun."

Spike did nothing.

  
"What's wrong?" the minion continued, jerking Faye a little closer to him. "If you don't hurry..."

His words were cut off by his head dissolving into a bloody mess. Several drops of crimson blood splashed across Faye's pale face and violet hair as she stared with her mouth open at Spike. Her surprise didn't last long though, and she immediately ducked away, just in time. Countless bursts of gunfire sounded in the church, half the bullets aimed at her, the other half at Spike. 

Vicious conveniently slipped out of sight as Spike himself ducked behind a pillar and began shooting. An almost maniacal grin crossed his face as he squeezed off several shots, downing two men. _Dammit, Faye, get out of the fucking way_! he mentally screamed as he shot off another round, these bullets coming dangerously close to his comrade.

"Are you trying to kill me!?"

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No, you're just in the way Spike mentally replied as he watched the purple haired woman race out the door. And now to end this. The insane grin still on his face, Spike reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a grenade. With something close to a chuckle, he threw it behind him and shuddered slightly at the explosion. The pillar protected him from the intense blast. Several shards of rock and rubble flew past him and he continued smiling, reloading his gun with the few precious moments he had. The spent clips fell to the floor with a soft ting.

As the explosion died away, Spike swiftly leapt back into view, the tails of his coat flying with each feline-esque movement. His feet quickly carried him to the stairs as he continued to empty his clip, the bullets finding their mark as several Red Dragon syndicate members felt a searing pain through their chests or stomach's and looked down to see crimson blood flowing from their dying bodies.

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Where the hell did Vicio- Spike's thoughts were interrupted as a bullet from the remaining syndicate members ripped through his shoulder. His face twisted in pain but he continued to fire, and the man who shot him soon fell to the ground lifeless.

Before he could continue, Vicious' creepy bird cawed, alerting Spike to the presence of the white haired man. He quickly turned and lifted his gun hand up, just in time. The tip of Vicious' sword clanged against his gun. Without missing a beat, Vicious pulled his blade back and swung again as Spike desperately tried to block each jab with nothing more than his gun. A few grunts broke from his lips.

Slash. One swing managed to get through Spike's defenses and blood spattered across his cheek. He hissed and fell backward, landing on one elbow, his other hand still holding the gun, fingers tightening around the trigger as the barrel pressed into Vicious' chest. At the same instant Spike felt a sharp prick in his own shoulder and he looked up to see Vicious looming over him, katana held in both hands, eyes wild with anger and insanity.

Softly Vicious spoke, his tone gentle, completely uncharacteristic. "Spike," he began, eyes still glistening with rage, "Do you know what your face looks like right now?"

"What?" came Spike's reply.

"The same blood runs in you and me. The blood of a beast who wanders, desiring the blood of others." _And now, Spike...I desire yours. For betraying me. For sleeping with Julia. For running. For being alive._

Spike grinned. "I've bled all that blood away." 

His blue eyes blazing even brighter, Vicious screamed, "THEN WHY ARE YOU STILL ALIVE?" 

Simultaneously, both fighters attacked. A bullet from Spike thudded into Vicious' shoulder at the same moment that the blade of Vicious' katana plunged into Spike. Both men cringed and gripped their wounds, but Vicious recovered first. He quickly leaned down and with his free hand, grabbed Spike's face and pulled him up, looking very much like a rabid animal. Growling, he shoved Spike toward the elegant stained glass window, which immediately shattered. 

Spike blinked as shards of beautiful multi-colored glass tore into his back, but that was nothing compared to the sudden feeling of airlessness, as he began falling from the fourth story window and the past began to flash before his eyes- or more specifically, one eye.

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Julia, a window, where the lovely young blonde stood, silent as usual....an empty kitchen.... bouquet of roses, then a single red one drowning in a puddle....Mere minutes before, the gunfight between Spike and the Red Dragon syndicate members...more roses....the fight once again....Julia, tearing apart the paper that would lead her to freedom....Vicious. Spike. Comrades, fighting back to back. Friends....Julia, Spike, Vicious. A pool table, before the betrayal....The single rose once more....Vicious, a gun at Julia's head, telling her to kill Spike, or else he would kill them both....walking away, dropping the bouquet....In bed, Julia at his side, both of them knowing that their sexual relationship would only bring them to ruin, but loving each other too much to say no....The grenade, the maniacal smile....the rose....an explosion...Julia, stepping out of her door, looking demure....Spike, falling on his face, near dead from wounds suffered long ago....

And all went black.

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Why do I feel so alone...for some reason, I think of home...


End file.
